Guilty

This past weekend I feel like I took a step back with my eating habits. Matt and I joined a few of our friends in Atlantic City to celebrate a few birthdays and with that... a lot of drinking was involved. I'm not entirely concerned with what or how much I drank, though I know alcohol and it's mixers weigh heavily on the calorie count as well as the sugar intake. I'm more worried about the 1/2 pepperoni pizza and breadsticks I ate for dinner one day. Immediately after I put the pizza in my mouth all I could taste was the saltiness and even more so with the breadsticks. It almost seemed as if they were dropped in a vat of salt prior to baking them. I knew, though, that I needed to get something in my stomach prior to drinking in order to prevent myself from becoming sick by the end of the night. I also knew that the remaining pieces of pizza and breadsticks would become a late night snack once the drinking and partying had stopped. Even with a heavy conscious I proceeded to eat away.

This got me thinking... was I really feeling that guilty about overly indulging? Or was it just the mind set that I've been in for the past 60+ days. Was my need to constantly eat healthy becoming an obsession? Quite honestly I think it may be a little bit of both, but for the most part I believe it's the fact that I've been striving to incorporate healthy foods in every meal. I'm not looking to become some health fanatic that only eats everything low calorie, organic, non fat, etc... That's not realistic to me. I know I'll indulge every now and again. It's only natural. I don't feel I'm that unhealthy that I need to cut out all the sugar and salt from my diet. It's just a matter of reducing the unhealthy ingredients that I consume. I am far from consuming the daily recommended amounts of vegetables, fruits, dairy (to name a few) in every meal. I just tend to beat myself up when I overindulge because I know I could have gone without eating that extra bite of chicken parm or the last slice of pizza. When I voice my lamentation to my boyfriend I normally get a response like, "Shut up, you're doing great." Haha After he jokingly chastises me, of course. And that's what brings me back to reality.

I am doing great! I've lost 8+ lbs thus far. I am eating healthier, exercising more, being more conscious of the food I eat, and best of all learning new things about nutrition and exercise. Matt's right. I don't need to beat myself up into a figurative bloody pulp just because I ate a highly caloric burrito. I need to work it off and move on. I'm only human and I'm going to make mistakes and eat something I shouldn't, but as long as I'm aware of it and try to keep the overindulgence to a minimum I'll be fine. Until the doctor tells me that I absolutely have to cut out sugar, for example, it's really not necessary. I mean, I know it's not good for you, but if consuming in moderation it becomes less detrimental to your health. And that's not a bad thing, right? Or am I just really giving myself a pep talk and a slew of excuses? Hmm... food for thought.

In no way, shape or form am I giving myself a "free pass" to eat unhealthy foods with the thought that "I'll just work it out later" or that "I'm only human I'll make mistakes." That isn't the case at all. I'm just trying to be a little bit more realistic about things. I'm very a picky eater still, always have been, which makes it difficult to expand my options during meals. All I can say is that I'll do my best... and that would make Tony Horton proud. Haha! :)

"Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway." 

-Isabelle Holland